Exchanged emails with my past colleagues in the US and Australia.
It was good to say hi to people I’m close to.

The challenge is that it’s an email, and we can’t know the facial expression and exact mood.
It’s hard to be sure how the recipients accepted the email.
This is a common challenge even when communicating in one’s native language, especially between boys and girls.

If I had more time, I could spend more time on those email exchanges.
But even as the initiator, it’s difficult for me to spend more time.

One of my colleagues suggested a book in English.
“I tried reading it, but stumbled at the first hurdle within the first few lines because I didn’t understand the meaning of ‘go the whole hog’.
There are a lot of words and idioms whose meaning I don’t know.

But anyway, if you don’t try it, you will not be able to do it easily in future.

I ordered a new washing machine.
I originally thought to make use of Rakuten points, which reached about 50000 points.

It’s not cheap at all, and the cost is 200k+ yen.
Usable cache is reducing recently due to the Trump shock, but I still believe it’s affordable.

In addition to that, soon 1.2M yen will be withdrawn from my account due to the income tax return.
It should be good, as those taxes will grow based on the amount of income.
But it’s a bit hard to sell the stocks due to the recent economic turmoil.

Anyway, this is the first front-loading washing machine and I hope it will be much convenient for my wife.
It has a dryer incorporated and should expedite the whole process of washing.

Probably the next big purchase is a new refrigerator.
It should also be convenient for my family.

Played a game after some time.
It’s The Last of Us Part 2.

Playing a game is time-consuming.
It took 20+ hours to complete, and I can finish reading 5 books with the time.

Still, I think it’s worth playing.
The story is downer and somber, but such deep dark can clearly highlight some good stuff.
The darker the night, the brighter the stars.

It was not a happy ending, but it surely brought me some hope.

I’m not perfect, and I’m just the same human being as others on the globe.
I realize that I wouldn’t be happy when I’m recognized, honored, and praised.
It’s more like feeling relief instantly and it will not last long.

On the other hand, when I see someone being recognized, honored, and praised, I usually don’t feel like celebrating
It will make me feel some sort of small turmoil and anxiety.

If this is the other way around, I will be a more happy person.
But with these traits, I’ll never be happy.

Happiness and life are complicated topics.
I don’t like any experience with fear or pain, so ending my life will not be an option.
But still, I feel like I’ve done more of the things I needed to do in life. Kind of enough.

I plan to buy a new washing machine.
The new model will be released in the Aug-Sep time frame, so the timing right before should be the best to buy last year’s model.
It will help my wife a lot to reduce the burden on chores, as the new models will have the function of a dryer.

I ordered 2 study desks and 2 chairs for my daughters because my younger daughter will start her new school life at elementary school.
The elder daughter has a desk and chair already, but it’s not a good one and getting broken recently.
So we will replace it by buying a new one.

The biggest challenge is the space.
My condo is a bit cramped with small rooms.
So we need to keep rethinking how to put the furniture.
Moving to a rural area can be an option, but my older daughter has her life already, and not willing to do that as she will need to say goodbye to her firends.

I have wanted to buy a Macbook for a couple of years.
It stimulates my desire to possess it, but I haven’t bought it so far.

The problem is I don’t have any specific usage with the Macbook.
I have my Windows desktop PC, and laptop as well.

I have 1 MacBook Pro but that’s for work, and company-owned.
I don’t want to use that laptop on my time off.

I don’t have any specific purpose for which I need to buy the Macbook personally.
But again, I still want it. This is quite strange but possibly related to the mechanism of human beings, especially for possession.

Not sure if things will change later, and I reaches a turning point later.

Pollen season is coming to Japan.

Again, I’m experiencing weird unwellness similar to a cold.
I’m trying medicine for pollen allergies but not working completely.

This time, my younger daughter is having the allergy as well.
The problem is sleeping. With congested nasal, it isn’t easy to have sound sleep.
So we take her to the doctor and the medicine from the doctor looks working well for her.


Recently, a senior colleague in my previous decision is becoming “difficult” with aging.
I just feel it and there’s no concrete evidence.

He divorced in the past and still single, and has no children.
The concept of value is changing with the environment, so there can be a gap between people who have different backgrounds.

I don’t think he is going in the right direction at least for the career.
But career is just a small part of the life.
And everyone is right at their choice for their life.

I’ll turn 42 this year.
The feeling that there must be something more wonderful somewhere else other than here is being faded and lost.

I didn’t expect what would be my 40s when I was young, but I’m living my 40s now.
I need to keep my eyes open and keep thinking about myself.
At least, I can try to remember my 40s by doing that.

A couple of days ago, I tried to imagine my moment of dying as specifically as I could.
Then I felt a quite strong fear for my life’s end.

This is important for me, but nothing for most of the other existence in the world.
This fact will remain the same for sure even if I try to do whatever I can.
I’ll die and it’s just the death of one person.

The human is powerful enough to ignore and forget this fact.

Have completed 22 books this year.
This pace is the top record for these 10 years.

Reading the book is easy and the tip to continue reading is to stop reading the boring books.
More difficult is finding and meeting with a good book.
I’m relying on some awards to evaluate the books since I’m not a billionaire.

For me, the book, especially hardcover is expensive.
I can’t spend so much money on the book.

Anyway, currently reading books is a top hobby for me to “consume” my time.
We all need to consume time and survive.
There is not much difference in how to consume time.
In the end, time will be just consumed.

Even at my age, still I can learn.
I would say,  still I can notice basic stuff.

Someone’s common practice, way of thinking, attitude, and habit can be uncommon for others.

Putting the garbage into the trash can is very common for me.
Hence I force family members to do so based on my common sense.
However, the older daughter is not able to follow the guidance and suggestions.

This is a gap in the norm for each.
No one is guaranteed as correct in the subjective world.
Everyone is correct in their world with their standard.

If other world’s standard is pushed forcefully, it can be a reason for depression.

This is what I could learn from my elder daughter.