This time, my company’s performance indicator for bonus was better than average. It’s 1.08.

My personal performance indicator is 1.28. This is good, though it’s not exceptional.
The top performer will have 1.35-1.45, though there are lots of politics and unique reasons that determine the numbers.

As usual, the sales and the profit were OK, and that’s the reason for the company’s performance indicator, but I got no merit increase.

Holistically, I’m satisfied as I got RSU again, so it’s 6 consecutive times, every 6 months.

One good news is that my team has 2 people promoted, even with the very restricted budget.
I’m a bit disappointed that the person promoted is not me, but anyway, it’s a good sign.
It also means the path to promotion for me is not blocked.

Embarassingly, I have a bad habit: Nail biting since I was a child.
I almost gave up trying to stop the habit, but I bought a super-bitter manicure this time, and it worked like a charm.
On the 1st day, I still bit my nail without noticing it, but the bitter taste hit me.
Then, from the 2nd day, I was able to recognize the movement of my hand.

This is one amazing fact.
We can change ourselves even for a 30-year-old habit.
So anything can change.

Nothing new except for this.
The bonus was good, but my company has quite a stringent budget for merit increase and promotion this time.
But today, my manager gave me a letter including RSU. That’s really good and relieving.

I read the book by Shintaro Ishihara recently, which is a kind of autobiography.
Actually, I don’t like him, so I was reading it criticizingly, but the reading experience itself was somewhat interesting and valuable.
What he repeatedly wrote was miserable, but I just felt I might be able to like him once I met with him in person. but not able to confirm this thought.

I’ve been in my current role at my company for 4.5 years, and I’ve adjusted quite well to the circumstances.

Getting used to something inevitably brings a sense of boredom.
I’m wondering if there’s a more exciting opportunity for me internally or externally.

At the end of the day, money matters.
If I can get the same or more money with a job that’s less demanding and has a better work-life balance, that will be good.
I know that’s probably asking too much.

“At forty, I had no delusions.” is a famous phrase, but I doubt it, at least for me.
I’m still motivated, but my motivation is fading drastically.
It feels like I’m pressing the gas and the brake at the same time.

I don’t have time to elaborate, but family is also difficult.
I have delusions at 42.