I’ve always been interested in writing a novel, but I’m not very good at sticking with it. I also know I don’t have a talent for creating plots and stories. When we read sentences that only have plain meaning, we can get bored easily.

Something interesting or exciting is mandatory to include in sentences. It also takes knowledge to describe or depict something in writing. Time and passion to focus on it are also essential.

Tonight, I installed VS Code and the Novel-Writer extension. Even though I was toying with it, I still feel like I won’t be a good writer. But I still believe this could be interesting.

My summer vacation is about to end.
I forgot how to work.
I have lost my passion and motivation for the work.
I’m looking forward to having a year-end vacation.

My father-in-law is over 70, and gradually, he looks to have some indication of a major neurocognitive disorder.
It’s very concerning.

We must anticipate some bad turning points in our lives.
No one can live permanently, and our health is going to deteriorate.
I want to live with my family forever together with good health, but it’s not possible.

Summer is already over halfway through. Half of August is gone.
And so is my summer vacation.

My submission for Cisco Live was declined this time.
I have mixed feelings about it. I don’t have to spend a lot of time preparing anymore, but at the same time, I missed an opportunity to work abroad for a short period.

Cisco’s stock price has dropped significantly.
Still, I believe things will be fine. At least, the company’s performance factor being used for bonus calculation has been better than average over the last 10 years.

The 40s are a tough time.
The situation feels like it’s gradually heading in a downward direction. At least, there are signs that it could be getting worse.
I’m not in short supply of anything, but it takes effort to maintain my happiness. It’s important to clearly define what happiness means to me.

I recently took my first trip to Mito and Fukushima prefectures, which was a completely new experience for me. I stayed one night at the Dormy Inn in Mito, and then we headed to Spa Resort Hawaiians bright and early the next morning. It was a unique kind of getaway we don’t usually have, so it felt really refreshing.

To be honest, the experience at Hawaiians wasn’t entirely perfect since it was high season and quite crowded with people enjoying the water. However, seeing my daughter happily playing in the “lazy river” made the trip a success. This opportunity was particularly precious because my older daughter is usually busy with private tutoring every weekend, preparing for her junior high school entrance exam next February.

While the trip meant giving up my weekend, it was undeniably filled with joy and precious family time.

Got a new MacBook Air! It’s got a JIS keyboard, which isn’t ideal since I prefer the US layout for easier ” ‘ ” input. Still, the experience is fantastic: beautiful screen, great sound, powerful processor, and amazing battery life.

My only real disappointment is that I can’t use it for remote desktop to my company’s VPN-connected PC. If that were possible, this MacBook Air could control both my personal desktop and work PC via VNC or remote desktop.

I initially tried to buy it with “Visa e gift#” from my company’s Connected Recognition points (sort of thanks card points)
However, it took 4-5 days to activate, so I just used my credit card instead.
I could buy the laptop, but it turns out, I received 20 separate virtual credit cards instead of one consolidated 20M yen card. I ended up converting all 20 into Amazon gift cards, gaining no benefits or points, which was a time-consuming hassle due to my misunderstanding.

I’m running low on cash. This is mainly due to RSU and ESPP, which are considered part of my salary, but aren’t liquid cash until I sell them. Currently, two-thirds of my income is RSU/ESPP, so my available money is decreasing continuously.

The estimated tax prepayment is approaching, and I need to credit 60 million JPY to my bank account by
July 31st. To do this, I need to sell my stocks.

I’m not a good investor, so I invested 1 million JPY in an individual stock, but the performance has not been good. Just around 5% return in this 1 year, including dividends.

A significant portion of my assets is my company’s stock, but selling it bothers me because I need to complete all the necessary tasks for next year’s tax return.

All this is due to not having enough liquidity.

As it’s calm and silent, it can be confused as if nothing is happening.
But the reality is that all these things are happening.
I was reading books, watching some videos on U-Next with a free trial, and doing all the trivial stuff needed for living.

My wife and daughter are talking to family in her hometown via LINE as a video call.
It’s convenient and is being leveraged and taken for granted.

I’m reading books about the telegraph from 1850-.
It’s amazing to know that old people made an effort to create the fundamental part of the current internet and telecommunication.

I’ll need to have a contract with a mobile service to give a telephone number to my younger daughter soon.
Gradually, she is becoming capable of using the mobile and the internet.

I check the “#買ってよかったもの” tag on note.com every day, searching for anything attractive or justifiable purchases. Still, I haven’t found anything yet. Because of that, I can’t figure out a way to use my 53 million yen points, which I’ve accumulated from various colleagues over the past four years or so.

Tools are just tools, and stuff is just stuff. They can be helpful for our purposes or for the things we want to do. But the important point here is what we’ve done and what we want to do, because our behaviors and actions shape our lives.

I’m currently just spending my life working, looking after my family, reading books, and playing games. However, I think the way I feel about it can change. It’s about whether I’m just spending my life, or truly enjoying it by doing those things.

The weekdays were a bit hectic with multiple events and escalations.

I’m delighted with the compensation and work environment.
But still, I can feel stress, surely.

The things are very, very complex.
No one knows if I stop working, then I can be happy or not.
There are various angles and perspectives, including financial, rewarding, life, self-development, and time usage, among others.

So there’s no magic decision that can solve everything in my life.
I can understand it as I’m maturing.
But that understanding itself doesn’t solve anything naturally.

So this is fate for humans and for me at least.

Monday is the biggest challenge of every week.
I’m always forced to consider and imagine if I can get through Monday.
My work makes me feel like that.

Every time I can get through and survive, even with tough tasks and jobs.
So I don’t need to worry about myself and my work.
But in reality, I feel some stress.

Fortunately, I was able to maintain good mental and physical health.
I hope that will remain the same.

But I wish I could graduate from the labor I’m working on.
If I can earn the same amount of money with an easy and less stressful job, that’s also welcome.